Monday, September 12, 2016

Manic Monday--Why You Shouldn't Let Children Broadcast The News!!

Obviously, things worked differently in the Golden Age, because they let 10 year old boys broadcast the news. I mean, when I was ten, I probably would have spent most of my time trying to sneak the words "booger" and "fart" into my broadcast. But hey, WHIZ thought it made sense to let a child run your news department!

Still, they realized that Billy Batson might need some help, and so...



But it turns out...

Great. Nazis everywhere...


D'oh!!

Well, it turns out that Stogg was inserting code phrases into the broadcast, and Billy was dumb enough to not realize, and so...




Way to go, Billy.

After Captain Marvel helps clean up the mess, he meets a special guest-star:


Well, Billy's still too much of a schmuck to realize what's happening, so...

With this result:




But everyone knows that Billy and Captain Marvel are good friends. How will the FBI keep the Big Red Cheese from breaking Billy out?

Look, I'm no ACLU lawyer, but locking up a ten year old in solitary and charging his cell with one million volts has got to violate something, right ?(Until the Trump administration takes over, at least...)

Well, of course, Billy break out, and with the help of The Lieutenant Marvels he saves Churchill and Roosevelt from Nazi bombers and clears Billy's good name.

So remember: if you do let a ten year old (or Matt Lauer) run your news department, make sure that the assistant you hire for him isn't a Nazi stooge....

From Whiz Comics #34 (1942)

1 comment:

Sort Of The Atom said...

If this story were ever retconned, would we be treated to the "Chief"'s secret identity?