Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Comissioner Gordon--Murderer!!

So it seems that an intergalactic bounty hunter is trying to assassinate Commissioner Gordon.

(No, it's not Boba Fett)

(No, he doesn't want to encase the Commissioner is carbonite)

So why is an alien hunting James Gordon? After Batman saves his bacon a couple of times, Gordon finally gives in and tells a sordid tale from his past:







And now, Great Moments In Rationalization #2,376: it's OK to cover up the crime because of Orson Welles:


Batman proceeds to demonstrate that he doesn't understand the meaning of the word "irony":

Yes, he killed someone, and now someone is seeking to punish him. Uhhh...not seeing the irony, Batman...

And then Batman demonstrates a shocking lack of understanding of the legal system:

One wonders if Batman would have been so forgiving if, for example, Joe Chill had claimed that he hadn't meant to kill the Waynes, and had become a doctor or such.

Anyway, Batman recruits Hawkman to assist him in protecting Gordon. And again, the forgiveness flows like a river from the Caped Crusader:

"Innocent of any real crime," Batman?? Well, sure, I suppose if you discount criminal trespass, murder, breaking and entering, murder, illegal search, murder, obstruction of justice, murder, evidence tampering, illegal disposal of a body, oh, and MURDER!!! The only crime Gordon commited was caring too much, it seems.

MORAL: If you're Batman's buddy and you admit multiple felonies, you get a complete free pass.

SPOILER ALERT: It turns out the dead alien was actually helping Delacorte establish his secret crime empire. So, he deserved to die, I guess. At least, that's how the bounty hunter sees it: "I see now that [Gordon's] crime was fate working its strange way to true justice." Really. So the universe's deadliest bounty hunter forgives Gordon, too.

ANOTHER MORAL: If you see an alien, gun him down--he's probably a crook, anyway.

Oh, Bob Haney...

From The Brave And The Bold #139 (1978)

1 comment:

Stephen said...

You crack me up, Snell. And you have repeatedly demonstrated that the universe would have been so much duller without the insanity of Bob Haney's writing.