Monday, December 6, 2010

Manic Monday--How To Cross The Street In England

I don't want to pick on the average intelligence of British children in the mid-1970s. But at a time when U.S. media was teaching American children the intricacies of constitutional law and advanced linguistics, the British government felt the need to spend almost a million pounds on a multi-media campaign dealing with the fact that English kids were too dim to cross the street safely:

Yes, this is real. The Green Cross Code was a fairly massive safety campaign by the British government. This particular example comes from 2000 AD #72 (1978).

A couple of notes. First, despite supposedly being the home of the English language, Britishers can't spell "curb" properly:

Secondly, that seems like an awfully specific and familiar face for our "hero":

Hmm, perhaps if we watch one of the telly PSAs...



Yes, Green Cross Code Man is played by David Prowse. Yes, THAT David Prowse. So when Darth Vader materializes out of nowhere to berate your street-crossing skills...



...you're probably going to listen! Especially when he has a robot sidekick:



Of course, faux superheroes weren't the only way of getting the message across. They also signed up alleged "pop superstars" to berate kids in public:



Wow, nothing says "safety" quite like skeevy-looking middle-aged rockers accosting pre-teen girls on the streets.

Yes, Alvin Stardust (no relation to Ziggy) was a real pop star in England, although he never charted on our side of the pond. Yes, those sideburns were real. I guess the best way to describe his act at that point in time is a 1950s Elvis/rockabilly sound dressed up in glam rock trappings to ride David Bowie's coattails.. Just so you can see how truly glam and mod he was, check this out (but be careful--your tiny minds will be blown!):



"I'm not your brother/You're not my sister/Lord above/You're a girl and I'm a mister/Give it to me now." So, yeah, that's exactly whom I want approaching young girls in the street for safety lectures...(At least he ruled out incest--so he's not completely skeevy, right??)

That was 1974, by the way. Which explains a lot about the state of British pop music between the Beatles and the Sex Pistols. Not that American pop music was any better at that time, of course.

Hmm. This started out as a much shorter post. But what can you do when Google and YouTube lead you on an amazing link-clicking journey?!?

6 comments:

Saranga said...

I feel like I should defend Britain. I'm sure there's another way of looking at the above. What pop star wasn't skeevy in the 70s? Plus, the UK doesn't feel the need to have a law against jaywalking, so maybe our saftey codes are doing better than yours?

So, take that! and indeed hah!

I'm better at arguing when I'm not so brain dead. sorry.

notintheface said...

He looks like Elvis' evil twin. Listen at the 1:23 mark. Could he possibly GET any more blatant?

snell said...

Saranga--oh, please don't take it personally. If you can't poke fun at England, whom can you poke fun at??

notintheface--"Could he possibly GET any more blatant?"

Oh yes. Much more blatant. Much much more blatant. Loads and loads more blatant.

Martin Gray said...

I think you'll find it's you lot who can't spell 'kerb'!

This is indeed an easy target. Tut. And again, tut. But yes, American kids are so much more intelligent. And not at all fat.

In fact, I may have to set the Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water on you ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NY5cX0d4_g

Now, this is what you're getting for Christmas.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Charley-animated-classics-Information-archives/dp/B0001HK0JI/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1291730856&sr=1-2

snell said...

Now, now, Mart, I didn't say British kids of the 1970s weren't intelligent. I said the British government thought they weren't intelligent. Different thing, entirely.

Looking at all these English PSA's, it's a wonder any of you blighters made it to adulthood--England is a very, very dangerous place...

notintheface said...

Say what you will about England, it DOES swing like a pendulum do!