Thursday, September 9, 2010

Always A Bridesmaid

You know what I hate? I hate it when comic companies salivate like Pavlov dogs at the prospect of getting "real" writers to write their comic books.

We've all seen it--DC or Dark Horse or Marvel will issue a press release touting their latest acquisition, and the company will suggest that we should be super-impressed because a "real" writer will be writing one of their books, someone who's actually written TV shows or movies or (gasp) actual novels. Because all of the actual comic writers they have are crap compared to the majesty of Brad Meltzer, who's a real writer!!!!!

It's so self-denigrating, so needy, so small town. It feels almost like the local paper making a huge deal out of the fact that Tom Wopat is going to appear in a local production of Guys And Dolls over at The Barn Theater and that's a huge deal because he's a real actor, not one of these local guys who have never been on TV or in a movie before!! (editors note: true story. I love Kalamazoo, but sometimes we're not the most sophisticated bunch. Tom Wopat!!!!!)

Sure, it's just a matter of tone (not to mention my perspective and biases, no doubt). But for once I'd love to see one of those press releases say "This writer has decided that comics are so cool that he wants to write for us!" as opposed to "Oh my god someone who is a 'real' writer actually wants to write for us oh my oh my!!"

But you know what's even worse? As long as the companies act like groupies who long for nothing more than to be invited backstage after a Motley Crue concert, they're going to get treated like like that poor groupie, used for a quickie and dumped faster than you can say "the bus is leaving for Des Moines, Nikki!" By consistently acting so grateful and needy and thankful that "real" writers will deign to give them the time of day, the companies ensure that they'll be treated like crap.

Because these writers, brought in to so much fanfare, treat their comic writing assignments like a hobby, rather than a job. And the comic companies encourage that.

Take this, for example, from Media Geek's interview with Joss Whedon, discussing his work on the Buffy Season 8 comic:

MEDIA GEEK: Is your heart still into the comic?

JOSS WHEDON: I love crafting it and getting it where it’s going, and when I have time I love writing issues. But it’s a little tough right now, and Dark Horse is taking it on the chin a little bit; I’m struggling so much, because I have this other little thing [The Avengers].


If Whedon were working on Buffy and he told Fox or the WB, "The next few episodes are going to be a few months late because I'm going to write a comic book," what do you think their reaction would be? Yeah, contracts would be mentioned, lawyers would be suggested, and firm reminders that show was his job and if he ever wanted to work in this town he'd take of that responsibility first. That's if he wasn't immediately fired and replaced. (Or if Damon Lindelof had told ABC, "Sorry, the next episode of Lost is going to have to wait 3 years..." I don't think ABC would have said, "Why, OK, sir. Just get it done when you can, all right?")

But if you tell the comic companies that your work is going to be late (and later, and later) or that you might have to ditch your commitment because some TV show or movie has come up?? "Well, sure, no problem, don't worry about how you've screwed our production schedules and solicitations and sales and fans. Whatever you've been offered is more important than our puny comic books!"

I don't want to pick on Whedon too much...he's not as egregiously obnoxious as some outside writers are, as his comments shows that he actually sort of cares (just not as much as as he cares about a chance to direct a blockbuster movie!). But it was this interview that crystallized some thoughts that had been percolating in my head for awhile.

How long are comics going to let themselves be treated like Charlie when Marcia Brady decides she'd rather go out with Doug? How long are they going to accept "something suddenly came up" as an excuse? When are the companies going to grow a spine and say, "Well, we're happy for your other offer, but you made a commitment here, and we expect you to fulfill it." Can we ever expect them to say, "Damon Lindelof, TV is not more important than comics. You took our money, now you finish the damned project"?

Whenever you hear someone whine about why the medium isn't treated with respect, and when are comics going to get their due, etc, etc, here's one answer: When comics start respecting themselves. When they stop treating authors from other media as more important, more spectacular than the ones they have; when they figure out that a writer isn't automatically better or a great acquisition just because they write mediocre novels or episodes of a flavor-of-the-month television series. And when they stop being so starstruck that they let authors treat their comics work as slumming, and start demanding that they treat it as seriously as any of their other paying work.

In other words, when they stop letting "famous" writers treat their comics work as a crappy fanfic hobby.

Which probably means never.

(By the way, Marcia Brady with a big nose was still pretty freakin' hot, and Doug was a freakin' idiot for dropping her. I'm just sayin'.)

(And yes, I do have a Marcia Brady Bobble-Head. Shut up.)

13 comments:

Perplexio said...

Didn't DC have Joan Didion writing Wonder Woman briefly (in a 2 or 3 issue story arc)?

The only reason I could ever see for going gaga over a novelist writing a comic would be if one of my favorite authors was going to be working with DC, Marvel, whatever to do a graphic novel version of one of his novels. I'd be downright giddy if DC/Vertigo were to team up with Christopher Moore to do a graphic novel version of one of his books... I don't see that happening though.

The thought of one of my favorite authors working on a super-hero title doesn't really faze me much... Unless it were done like that Superman: Elseworlds that John Cleese collaborated on, just a one-shot or an Elseworlds title done for fun... The comic writers know what they're doing let them handle the monthly ongoing titles.

Mark Engblom said...

Thankfully, it seems the practice of Slumming Writers treating comics like their needy business trip whore has largely run its course.

The only Hi-Fallutin' Writer project I can think of that's still happening is the guy writing "Children's Crusade" for Marvel (the one who blew off writing both Young Avengers and Wonder Woman in mid-story...but I don't have the will power to actually look up his name).

As for the "Real" Writers who blow off their comics work, I would say there's a depressing number of REGULAR comic creators who have that same lackadaisical attitude toward monthly deadlines. In other words, in a comics biz where the irony of taking 10 months to publish a 6-issue "Flash: Rebirth" series is completely lost on the Powers That Be, the chronically tardy Big Writer dilettante is just an extension of the arrogant "You'll Get It When It's Done" fecklessness we see more and more frequently.

Mark Engblom said...

Also, Maureen McCormick was smokin' hot.

Perplexio said...

Mark -- I'd argue that the lacksadaisical nature is that of the artists, not the writers... at least that was the case with Flash:ReBirth. Johns was getting things done on time but Ethan Van Sciver was taking his sweet ass time on the drawing, inking, etc. Van Sciver is a brilliant artist. I love the way he made ReBirth look but man it took him forever! They should have shit-canned him and brought in Manapul or Kolins or someone with a bit more respect for schedules given all the delays with Flash:RB.

Mark Engblom said...

That's true, Perplexio....a title's delays are usually due to the artists, specifically in the case of Flash Rebirth. However, I have to admit some frustration toward Geoff Johns, who seems to always end up collaborating with slow-as-molasses artists. Whether it's Van Sciver's 10-months on six issues of Flash: Rebirth, Gary Frank's 11-months on six issues of Superman: Secret Origin, or Adam Kubert's whopping 19 months on the four-part "Last Son" storyline in Action Comics, the unflappable-to-the-point-of-caricature Johns never seems to be bothered much by such ultra-unprofessional behavior. Granted, we don't know the behind-the-scenes details....and we can't realistically expects Johns to publicly go off on these lazy-ass artists....but at the same time, why does Johns always seem to pair up with these Masters of Delay? Unlucky...or just a little naive, or a too laid back for his own good?

Considering Snell makes no secret about his distaste for Johns, it'll be interesting to read his take.

ShadowWing Tronix said...

Prime example: Kevin Smith. He can let his projects go YEARS without completion in favor of his movies and he still gets work in comics because he's Kevin Smith!

notintheface said...

At least with Frank or Van Sciver, you know the finished product will be worth the wait. I saw Kubert's final "Last Son" issue and it did NOT look like a 19-month art job.

In Smith's case, the completed projects can be as troublesome as the delays. (See "Batman: The Widening Gyre".)

notintheface said...

Also, Perplexio, that was Jodi Picault who wrote that brief Wonder Woman run after Heinberg left, not Joan Didion. It was on time, but it was brutal.

Perplexio said...

I'm not a big WW fan or anything, I ALMOST started collecting it with the relaunch when I thought the Donna Troy as Wonder Woman thing was going to be a bit more permanent (I was a fan of the New Teen Titans/New Titans back in the late 80s and into the early 90s)... When I realized it was just a stop-gap measure, I opted out.

And I'm also one of the guys that is disappointed that Bruce Wayne was brought back as quickly as he was. I'd have preferred Dick Grayson to remain as Batman a bit longer-- indefinitely longer. Dick Grayson = Bruce Wayne + Sense of Humor (much like Wally West = Barry Allen + Sense of Humor)

notintheface said...

So you haven't heard about the whole "Batman, Inc." thing, have you? Sounds like Dick WILL be Batman for a while longer, anyway.


I've always thought Wally was a more versatile character than Barry, because you could use him as straight man OR comic relief as the situation called for it without writing him out of character.


And you gave up on the Wonder Woman book at the wrong time. Gail Simone ended up taking the reins a few months later and doing some nice things with Diana before she departed a few months ago. Then again, I've generally thought Diana was way more interesting than Donna. (PLEASE, DC, let Kyle stick with Soranik instead of ending up with either Donna or Jade.)

SallyP said...

VERY well said, sir! This...neediness on the part of comic book companies is just so unbecoming.

Anonymous said...

I think it's grand that there are a few fans out there who think comics should be more than what we're currently getting. I cancelled my comic subscriptions because after spending a few hundred books in several months and having a handful of keepers, I decided it just wasn't worth it. I've missed a few here and there, but I usually hear about them from friends. The only comic I truly appreciated recently was O'Neill's new Question comic (part of the Blackest Night brou-ha!-ha! It was laughable some of the things that happened there, but O'Neill's intertexuality wasn't. (More here: http://mrdigressius.blogspot.com/2010/02/question-death-scene-revisited.html) It's what we need more of in comics. I don't think any of the companies are doing more than giving us transitory sweets that are like the two cent bubblegum whose flavor runs out two minutes later. Busiek, Pak, Kirkland, Abnett . . . is that it? I hope I'm forgetting some. On the other hand, if you talk to comics readers now, they disparage what I think was something of a golden age in comics when more literate - heck, even if some of it was pretentious - fare was offered: The Alan Moore-driven part of the eighties. No one really wants to read a smart comic, folks. Or the big companies simply won't put them out there. I sat and listened to the commentary to the animated series Blackstar. You want to really get depressed about the nature of a market, listen to that: "Yeah, I kept wanting a series with the word star in the title. I tried some others. And then, uh, I was reading, hm, a book about dragon babies and really appreciated the story and wanted to get the author . . . ah, this was thirty years ago . . . anyway, a dragon story. . . . Yeah, they're tree hobbits. I contacted the people who had the rights to the hobbits . . . Yeah, I'd pitch it to salespeople, and they weren't buying it. After He-Man, I said if I could go back I'd make sure I gave Blackstar a superpower. Salespeople want characters with superpowers." Sheesh. Nothing about story, characterization, why this group of characters were important for their time . . . just going with whatever would sell. We keep buying our twinkies, all the companies are going to put out twinkie-kinda stuff and we'll lament the whole situation twenty years later again . . .

- Lawrence
Mr. Digressius

Anonymous said...

>How long are they going to accept "something suddenly came up" as an excuse?

When they have any kind of mass audience or influence.