Thursday, February 4, 2010

Foxes Guarding The Henhouse

Marvel says:

Marvel Comics is proud to announce The Heroic Age, the dawn of an exciting new era of heroism in the Marvel Universe! Beginning in May 2010 with the release of AVENGERS #1, The Heroic Age ushers in a brighter Marvel Universe and a bold new era for the world's greatest super heroes as they emerge from darkness with a renewed sense of hope and optimism...

[Joe Quesada said] "...the Marvel Universe is going to be a more optimistic place than we've seen in a quite awhile."


Ladies and gentlemen, the same talent that will be bringing you an exciting new era of heroism presents:

That's Daken, being reduced to pork rinds by Thor's lightning bolts. Because that's apparently the only way Thor could take down someone like Daken...the Heroic Age requires relatively harmless annoyances be taken down as violently and painfully and graphically as possible, I suppose. But they were heroic and brighter lightning bolts!!

Monsieurs and madames, the very same creators who will be bringing you a renewed sense of hope and optimism present:

See, Ares was ripped to shreds hopefully, and optimistically!!

Man, am I confident that these cats can create a Heroic Age, brighter and more hopeful. Yup, not a doubt in the world.

Of course, these are the same guys who made it "darker" in the first place. Funny how the press releases don't mention that, eh? It's as if the Marvel Universe became dark all by itself, while Bendis et. al. just sat around and watched.

Hey, Quesada, "the Marvel Universe is going to be a more optimistic place than we've seen in a quite awhile?" That's not setting the bar very high...because under your watch, the Marvel Universe has become the least optimistic place ever. You could print blank pages and it would be more optimistic.

Than again, this is coming from the moron who thought having Spider-Man sell his soul to Satan was a good idea and somehow improved the character. So obviously his sense of "heroic" might be a tad askew.

Once more, with feeling:

Brighter, shinier Marvel Universe. From these guys. Good luck with that.


8 comments:

Sea-of-Green said...

You mean, Spider-Man and the X-men are no longer going to be all about ANGST, ANGST, and more ANGST?

Yeah, like you said -- GOOD LUCK with that, Marvel. :-P

Captain Infinity said...

You know, I don't even read Marvel and that's TWICE now that I've seen the Sentry rip someone in half.

notintheface said...

Let's put it this way: I trust them about as far as I can throw Bill Foster's giant chained-up corpse.

ShadowWing Tronix said...

I've read bright, optimistic Marvel stories before. They're called Marvel Adventures! And maybe Incredible Hercules, but since it's set in the dead-to-me 616, I can't bring myself to read it.

Mark Engblom said...

Marvel promising a more optimistic, heroic age ahead reminds me of a repentant drunk promising more sobriety and clear thinking.

Possible....but not likely.

What the hell has happened to superhero comics? When did we let these depraved little bastards into the tent? What comic book does the Sentry butchery take place in? I seriously want to cancel that issue from my order.

snell said...

Mark, that was Siege #2.

Mark Engblom said...

Thanks, Snell....and thanks for your continued spotlight on the creepy snuff-club of comic creators.

LissBirds said...

I can't agree more. I want comics to be fun again. I've had it with the emo sub-culture.